Outsourcing: the Key to Marital Romance

Outsourcing - the Key to Marital Romance

By Jak Burke

When it comes to a healthy romantic life, sharing our beds, our bodies and our precious little downtime with our baby isn’t exactly conducive, right? So once in a while and on special occasions it’s okay to put junior’s needs temporarily on the back-burner while we get some much-needed one to one time with our significant other. We tend to make a special effort on Valentine’s Day but what about the rest of the year?

Every date night can become a Valentine’s Day. It’s a good practice once a week to stop and remember what drew you together in the first place. Was it a love of live music or a certain artisan bar? Did you connect through friends or did you chance meet in a coffee shop? It’s fun to recreate the magic of those heady early days. So make it a regular habit to go on a date with your partner. But what about junior?

Arrange childcare

Rule number 1 : on your date night you are no longer mom or dad – you are a goddess Diana or an Apollo unleashed with a desire to celebrate the senses with your beloved! And you can’t do that if your baby monitor is next to you. Hire a competent baby-sitter or take a relative or close friend up on their offer to watch the baby. Buy yourself some real time – some big chunks of time where you are not thinking about his/her next feed.

Nanny Agencies



Sensible Sitters

Last-minute babysitters

Urban Sitter (Peer reviews)

Pinch Sitters (last-minute bookings okay)

Dump the Housework

Splurge on an apartment clean the day before your romantic outing. That way you won’t have any excuse not to spend time getting your nails done, your hair blown out or your bikini line waxed.

Green Cleaning (no chemicals) 

Dress Sexy not Comfy

You won’t be breast-feeding on this date so ditch the easy access boob grab top unless of course it has an erotic function. Still have some post-birth belly width? Check out this sexy belly wrap/corset by the Leonisa, Thalia by Firm Control Lace-Trim Bodybriefer, available at Macy’s.

Pull out a red or black dress and pick up some silk stockings. Leave the flats behind and trot to rock in a pair of heels. Scrub away for softer skin and sprinkle yourself in his or her favorite perfume or cologne. Yes it’s safe to wear the big phat expensive sparkly stuff because only your big bear baby will be making a swipe tonight and he or she has better coordination than a 3-month old. Top it all off with an elegant coat no anoraks allowed on date-nights!

Guys can go get a close shave or a beard trim. No faded baggy boxers allowed today! Opt instead for a figure-hugging pair of Calvin Klein briefs. Dig out those classic Italian shoes and that hot waist-coat even if some of the buttons don’t close. Jazz it all up with some silk socks, sultry cologne and a bright colored cravat. It remains to be said – avoid onions, spicy food or garlic for 24-hours. Keep that breath minty fresh! No track suits, sneakers or tank tops need apply. Go for a ‘look’ – tight jeans and a motorcycle jacket or a tweed jacket or your best suit. Today’s your day to sweep your partner off of their feet.

Date Conversation: pssst don’t talk about the kids!

Do we need to say anything more? We should also include: the bills, the apartment, up-coming vacations, gossip, gripes, politics and complaints. Keep it interesting. What is your partner reading? What music appeals to them? Are there any shows or movies that they’d like to go see? Sustain prolonged eye-contact. Flirt. Let your eyes run all over your partner’s body. Make them feel seen and heard. Don’t take any unnecessary calls. Need some tips to rekindle the sex?

Tips for Rekindling the Fire

10 Sex Tips for Long-term Relationships

Truths about Intimacy in Relationships

Intimacy Tips for LGBTQ Couples

Tips for Gay Couples

Do Something Different

Dinner at your local restaurant where everyone knows your name and exactly what you’ll be ordering is BORING! Get out of your neighborhood. Visit a different borough and sample the local cuisine.  You could look for somewhere fun maybe a venue that offers more than just the cuisine? Be careful not to prevent intimacy with too much entertainment though. You will want a space to hold hands and talk in whispers and engage in saucy foot play. Hey with a babysitter on call – why not book a room?

Some Awesome Romantic venues for your date

What are your favorite things to do on Valentine’s Day? XOXO